As we all know, sports equals serious business. This is especially true for BongBall, a thrilling sport designed by gentlemen, for gentlemen. Humiliating your opponent whilst having fun and avoiding terrible glass injuries is what it’s all about.
Never heard of BongBall? That’s not surprising, considering it was invented by us last month. Nevertheless this test of hand, eye and water pipe coordination is quickly becoming a popular past time for the Azarius crew.
Some of the requirements for BongBall:
- A healthy supply of glass bongs to be used as bat
- An opponent who isn’t afraid of a face full of glass shards
- Your game face (very important)
- An above average personal injury coverage
- An unhealthy amount of free time & unbridled imagination
The server or ‘Bongman’ throws up the smiley ball and swings his glass bong with full force. In the rare cases where the bong does not explode into thousands of tiny yet razor sharp fragments, the catcher or ‘Target’ must then make an effort to return the ball. Though at this point the rules open up to the interpretation of the referee (assuming he is still conscious at this point), as most games do not progress very far beyond the initial pitch.
It must also be noted that BongBall is not very popular as a spectator sport due to the high probability of fatal injury in and around the field.
In a Cup match between our two great champions, two of the latest rules are demonstrated. Dual wielding is allowed (Ninja and/or Jedi references are strongly encouraged) and secondly, catching the ball immediately ends the match in a perfect score and leads directly into a reward ceremony. The Grand Prize being another bong, naturally.
Congratulations to our first season winner and here’s hoping to a quick recovery for the dozens of colleagues currently recuperating in the hospital. Quite a sport, eh guys?
While playing this gentlemanly sport, we may have inadvertently destroyed over 50% of our glass bongs. Luckily, our German friends over at EHLE and Plaisir were kind enough to provide us with some completely new bongs.
These new bong arrivals include nearly bulletproof bongs with 5 mm thick glass. Perhaps now we can finally enjoy a few rounds of Bongball without blood gushing all over the floor! Plaisir’s exquisitely hand crafted beauties in particular are bongs made to stand the test of time. Why, they’re almost too unique to be used as a bat!*
You may check out our new glass bongs, if you so desire.
*Please do not try BongBall at home, at work, or anywhere else within this dimension or the next.