Our most spectacular failures

As difficult as this may be to digest, even we make mistakes. In some cases, these mistakes are so spectacular, they deserve special mention. Take a look at the most horrible crap the Azarius website has to offer.

Bud bug

Imagine the sound of a 747 in your living room. Now imagine a very slow moving bug in gaudy colours. Now punch yourself and throw your wallet in a shredder.

Congratulations, you know what it feels like to be the proud owner of a bud bug, the most useless invention since the eject button on your remote control.

Failure rating: triple facepalm


Candle safe

Long after mankind has been wiped out by World War III, the next Ice Age or the sudden rise to power of the quokkas, the next dominant species will discover a dusty shelf in the ruins of Amsterdam with the most horrible looking candles ever.

Was this some sort of time capsule, they will wonder. A message to all future generations, with lessons learned in the past in hopes of a brighter tomorrow?

No. It's just an ugly stashbox nobody in the right mind wants.

Smart move rating: we have these in three colours :(


Spazzstick

If there's one lesson to be learned here, it's that nobody goes online to buy lip balm, whether it's caffeinated or laced with cocaine. We'd rather try a corrosive lip balm than spend another second looking at this terrible purchasing decision.

We do hope the people of Kaktovak, Alaska find a more meaningful way to spend their lives, such as knitting cute sweaters.

SNAFU rating: a fanspazzstick failure


Cannabis Top Trumps card game

We all have a special someone in our lives whom we hate dearly and with a fiery passion. Perhaps that someone is celebrating a birthday soon, and you're looking for something to convey your utter contempt?

Yeah, that's about the only reason we can imagine for buying the cannabis top trumps card game. That or the sudden, uncontrollable desire to spend your money on the most pathetic excuse for a game Azarius has ever offered.

Regret-o-meter: over 9000!

Azarius: almost human

We hope you enjoyed this look at some of our less glamorous product choices. Rest assured that, if you ever have more money than you know what to do with, we'll always have something for you.

As for us? Well we'd like to think we've learned from our mistakes, but honestly, we're too busy laughing at our purchasing department to write anything down.